...I just listen.
This is also why I have a blog. To say whatever I want about whatever I want.
My creativity is feeling a little stagnant because of, well various reasons. I thought a couple of weeks back after going to the society of illustrators/alumni show at AAART that I was inspired, that I was gonna run home and create some masterpiece. I entered in the Annual Square Foot canvas gallery show last month for the first time. I was ready to enter the most fantastical piece of art I have done so far in my life.
Here I am, May 18th-I thought I was going to walk across a stage wearing a cap and gown then recieve my diploma to the delight of my family(I would have been the first in my immediate family to do so). But after debts build and collectiona agency calls, that dream of graduating college won't go quite as dreamt. No matter, I mean I did finish the courses and I wasn't personally excited with going through another wack ceremony(they never go well for me). Even with that, I the only thing I've drawn and completed since last month is the picture below this entry.
I was working on a comic book that I was planning on having ready for Wizard World, but this past month has been so hectic, I've pushed back plans on that and even doubt that I will be at a booth at all. Which sucks because I made a big deal about it up until that point.
I don't want to give up though. For the sake of my fellow AAART mates (class of '08)
and for my self to prove I can work through all of this. But the pressure is very tough to handle but I have to make adjustments as I go. I'm not planning on doing anything this summer. As opportunities open up, I just want to be able to address them as they arrive. I have to manage my time better and also not allow others to waste mine or dictate how I should use it.
I have to remember I'm an artist. I'am an illustrator (we're problem solvers). This morning I had a decision to make. Go to work like a good boy or be late for work and deliver my artwork for the BFA show that begins this week. Take a wild guess at which one I picked.
3 comments:
Jess, It seems that you are a bit bummed out, but if you have inspired one person, you are an artist. I was not an art lover until I saw how your art improved everytime your mom displayed it. It made me curious.
It has also given me an outlet in which I express myself but I have no talent. It's just pure emotions and paint.
I know you are ready to make money in your field. That will come, my friend...that will come.
Don't let your goal become a dream deferred. Hold on. These are tripped out times and we are all just experiencing a part of history that has to happen so that America can begin to purge itself. I have not worked in over a year and guess what debts will be there now and they will be there later. Handle what you can - and the rest - you must just say fuck it but dont forget it.
You are truly a brooding artist. That is what most of you do.
Best wishes and congrats!
Thank you Toni. Good looking out
I can relate. The time management part of it is real difficult. Sometimes after work, the will just isn't there. And then seeing our peers enjoying any kind of success, its great and you feel real happy for them, but at the same time you want to ask "what am I doing wrong?" These things don't always make you want to take a seat at the table and jump right into a project.
I'm not sure that any of this is comforting for you, but it helps knowing that others of us are feeling like we're going against the same obstacles.
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